Spam.

Tonight I went and sorta kinda spammed about 80+ of my friends on Facebook. You see, my sis and her friends started this ministry to orphans in Ukraine, and they're currently facing one of their biggest financial hurdles yet. So I got on their Facebook page, found out who I was "friends" with who was also "friends" with them, and messaged asking them all to participate in the $10 Challenge: 10 people, giving $10 each, over the next 10 days. Day 1 was great; day 2 pretty awesome as well. Days 3 and 4 have been slightly lacking, from the looks of things.

Now I HATE spamming friends, hate GETTING spam myself. But this summer I did the same thing for a stupid contest for one of my favorite musicians--and won myself a phone call, autographed pic, and some handwritten lyrics. I figured that if I could do it for such a "cause" as cool stuff, how could I NOT do it to help out some lost and forgotten and hurting kids in Ukraine? So maybe I'll piss off a few "friends," who knows. Maybe a few of them will donate to the cause. Maybe a handful will even find other people who will donate $10 too. At the very least--or the very MOST--maybe I'll have alerted 80+ Christian friends to the need to pray for some friends and the cause that God has given them a passion and a purpose for. Won't you join in too?

Girls' night + good tuneage = great Thursday!

Checked out a new coffeehouse in Fullerton tonight, McClain's. Oh-so-trendy of a place, filled with oh-so-trendy people that I enjoyed peoplewatching during some oh-so-trendy music. Me and 4 girlfriends went to watch a guy from church, AJ Degrasse, play his stuff. It was chill, it was fun, it was healing for my soul after whatever madness was going on inside last night. Yay for friends. Yay for good music. Yay for a refreshing night.

Breakdown.

Crappy morning group at work today. Crazy night with the middle schoolers tonight. Endless loud music and noise with middle school staff afterwards. Somewhere in the midst of it all, something inside of me snapped. I fled the scene early and had a mini-freakout in my car, the first of its kind. Oh what a day.

Hound of the Baskervilles.

Or at least that's what it seemed like tonight as Amy and I were taking her dog-sitting charge, Sandy, for a pleasant evening stroll around the block. The walk had been uneventful, we had just turned around and were heading towards home when suddenly she gasped and jumped into me. I turned just in time to see this GIANT golden dog positively leap out of the dark bushes and descend on Sandy! For a stunned few seconds, Amy and I stood there unsure of what to do. Did we pull Sandy towards home as fast as we could? Nope; the big guy kept leaping after us. Did we let the dogs do their thing and save ourselves? Bad idea there too...Amy was mighty protective of that pup, and there was no way we were leaving him to the mercy of this massive beast. We tried for home, he kept following. Even jumped straight into the gated-in front patio area of a friend's house--before growing tired of that and making for the front door! Yikes.

Somehow, in the time it took me to powerwalk Sandy home to safety, a leash was produced and fastened around this collarless-canine's neck. Amy and I set out back down the street, almost being more in tow of the dog than he was of us. We made it to the house of the dark shrubbery and knocked on the door...and were lucky enough to find Brady's home. I think a part of us wanted to run home ourselves after that, to avoid any more creatures that might be lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce with no warning. We got home, we slammed and locked the door, and we gave Sandy a treat for behaving so gallantly in the face of danger. And Amy and I curled up on the couch and watched a happy movie together, momentarily forgetting our harrowing encounter on a dark street, on a dark night...

Decisions.

Today I was given an invitation to up my role at work by doing something kind of new to me part-time. There are definitely some upsides to this, one of the primary being better pay on those particular days (coming at a time when I was just contemplating this weekend whether or not I should start looking for a second job...coincidence?). There are definitely some challenges too, like buttcrack-of-dawn early mornings at times (once last year when I went along on one of these adventures, I had to get up at 3:30am so I could leave by 4:30 so I could be at work by 5:30 to load everything up and be gone by 6:30 and drive to a school far away...). And other stuff too, on both sides of it.

The boss-lady tossed the opportunity my way, then quickly said to what must have been my slightly stunned and unsuspecting face, "You don't have to answer right this second...take some time to think about it!" Well, I'm thinking I'm going to give it a shot...

The search is on.

It's been months now that I've been longing for community. Looking for connection with like-minded people my age who are pursuing God and can encourage me to do the same. Been striking out at my home church, so because of some spurring conversations and circumstances this week I have semi-resumed my search for something somewhere else. Tonight's location: Cottonwood Church's FUSE service. Good teaching, good worship (although quite the elaborate production!), a good-sized group of young adults... Stayed afterwards for a special hangout, ate and talked with a few other 20/30-something ladies I'd never met before. When the night was done, I put my name down for more info about life groups. Now I wait and see what happens.

I'm not sold yet, but it's a start.

And I'm not giving up on my church yet. Danger #2 of the night: FINALLY sending that e-mail I've been thinking about sending for months to one of the pastors at my church, asking about starting something young adult-ish there...

Me 'on blast.'

Middle schoolers are crazy. Even when they hit high school, the craziness doesn't suddenly go away--it just changes a bit. Tonight we had a room full of probably 150+ middle AND high school students, all running around and playing all sorts of different games and sports competitions for over an hour. Then, AFTER that hour+ of crazy play time, we sat them all down and attempted to focus and present them with the gospel.

A acquaintance from camp, Megan, was asked to come share the gospel with the group tonight. She's been the spirit girl for the high school camp for multiple summers and is a SUPER high-energy, crazy, slightly intense and fun person herself. As I was grabbing a seat right before she got up to speak, she grabbed my attention with an, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you're here!! I'm TOTALLY gonna share that story of that crazy girls' night you all ran at Wildwood and...you were 'God,' right? Oh my gosh! I've been sharing this story for a few weeks now and now you're actually here!!!" Made me smile, made my pulse go up just a bit (mostly because she was even super intense in that brief personal interaction, lol), and made me excited/slightly nervous to hear her share about that crazy night we ran 3 summers ago. So I sat and listened.

Aaannnddd...halfway through, after she'd explained most all of the night and told everyone what role I'd played in it all, she was like, "Kari, I'm totally gonna put you 'on blast' here...stand up and tell us what you'd tell those girls each week!" Oh gosh. Suddenly there were a couple hundred pairs of eyes in the room on me, as I stood and strained to remember what I'd communicated on that crazy intense night--and communicate it now on this not-quite-that-crazy-intense one. And I think I did decently.

Oddly enough, those girls' nights have been on my mind a bit lately, and I've been thinking about what I shared week after week about how Jesus has freed them now and forever from their sins. So even though being put 'on blast' was something that kinda made me just a bit nervous, it honestly was at least somewhat fresh in my mind. Coincidence? More like a God-thing.

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have..."
[1 Peter 3:15]

Good tunes.

Found some great new music sometime towards the end of summer. Andy Grammer. He's only got 2 songs up to listen to, and only this last week could you buy the one single. So I guess he's pretty new.

Tonight he was playing in LA with a couple of other artists--who were also great, for sure. Not having heard much of him, I was kind of unsure as to whether or not I wanted to shell out my hard-earned cash for this guy. But I've been wanting to hear more, so ready or not, here we went...! And Andy Grammer blew me and my friend Karen away! His songs were fun and upbeat and definitely had us singing along when we could pick up the words. And he had an awesome band. Definitely became a new fan tonight. You should too.

www.facebook.com/andygrammermusic

Things are looking up.

Today I thought there was going to be more drama when I broached a certain subject. But instead, there was a surprising lack of drama that made my heart skip a beat. Thank you, Jesus.

Confrontation.

I hate confrontation. I'm very much a people-pleaser, and dread big arguments and conflict, avoiding them like the plague whenever I can. Sometimes this makes for smooth sailing, since I rarely bring problems up unless they're huge. Sometimes this makes me a little bitter and frustrated inside. Sometimes this leads to more conflict when the issues finally get brought up down the line. It's not something I'm proud of, definitely something I've been striving to work on.

Today I confronted something that should have been a small problem, yet instead of letting it go on and fester and become a bigger problem--either internally or externally--I brought it up. Nicely, I thought; maybe I'm just really not as good at this "nicely" thing as I thought. Because once again, things blew up in my face. Kind of caught me by surprise, the ferocity of the attack and how fast it turned. Kind of put me in a funk for the rest of the day. Kind of hurt, big time. And now life has to continue going on as before, when I feel like I've been punched in the face by a friend for no good reason.

I hate confrontation.

Busy day.

Some days come and go with no "dangers" faced to report; others are chock full of them. Today was one of those days. I'll give you the bullet points...

>After work I was heading straight out to Disneyland (3rd Friday night of madness there in a row; that's almost danger enough!) for a friend's bachelorette party. Which meant I brought my life with me in the car that morning, including a change of clothes. Since I was at the back bay, the only place to change was in our oh-so-glorious...porta potties. Goodie. Gross. Danger #1.

>Made it to D-land, met up with the party! And out of our group of 15 or so, I knew the bride-to-be, had met 4-5 others, and the rest were complete strangers to me. Me, who loves the familiar and familiar people, hanging out with a gang of them after and exhausting work day/week...I was dead on my feet, but I hung ok. Danger #2.

>One of the acquaintances and I found a cast member "friend" from our last trip/initial meeting 2 weeks ago! We definitely went up and gave him a hug. Good old Rasheed. Danger #3.

>Before dinner in Downtown Disney, the girls decided to go "freshen up" at Sephora. I think I felt less comfortable in those 20 minutes in that makeup store than I did changing in the porta pottie. Danger #4.

>Dinner was in a private room with a giant long table--and I sat at the complete opposite end from my one good friend. Thankfully, was next to one of the acquaintances, but it was still a long 2.5 hour dinner. Danger #5.

It was a busy day. And I was pooped. I think that made some things seem bigger than normal, sure, but it was definitely a slightly-out-of-comfort-zone evening. But still fun to celebrate with my friend.

Oh yeah, when I got home I changed, washed my face and fell into bed without brushing my teeth. Danger #6.

Ooh la la

Tried out a brand spankin' new recipe today--from THE BOOK. No, not the Bible, it's this old women's league cookbook that my mom's side of the family pretty much swears by. "You could make anything out of the book for the very first time, and it'd be good enough for company!," my grandma always says. All I'd made out of it so far was banana bread (which is AMAZING, by the way!), so today I decided to branch out with "Chicken Ooh La La." Not too shabby, my tummy was happy after that dinner, that's for sure. If anyone's actually out there and curious...

Chicken breasts
1 cup sour cream
Garlic to taste
1 tsp Worcestershire
1 tsp celery salt
Paprika
Bread crumbs [I used old Wheat Thins, ha...]

Mix together sour cream, garlic, Worcestershire, celery salt, and paprika. Coat chicken with this mixture then with bread crumbs. Bake in a greased casserole uncovered, 45 min-1 hour, in a 350 degree oven.

Ooh la la. Enjoy.

Middle school.

Middle school. A crazy, awkward, unforgettable-no-matter-how-hard-we-try time for most of us. One we'd never want to go back and relive ever again. Right? Maybe for most of us...

But for some of us, the crazy, awkward unforgettableness somehow continues on into our adult lives. At least vicariously. I'm talking about youth ministry. Where else can you enjoy this time in all its glory, and have a stinkin' blast while doing it? At least, I love it.

Tonight we had a middle school event at church: "Waldo." People hid all over town at coffee shops, McDonald's, parks, bookstores, all wearing or wielding something specific. Light sabers. Indiana Jones. Martin Luther. Darth Vader. All these and more made appearances for our 2-hour drive all over town with carloads of crazy 11 to 13-year-olds, who descended in noisy swarms on unsuspecting establishments to find these hidden "Waldos."

My car load was different than usual. Normally a bunch of my small group girls practically attack in their jockeying for a seat in my car; tonight I got 3 7th and 8th grade boys. They were different. They were noisy. They were awesome.

These boys screamed Beatles and Black Eyed Peas and "Where's Waldo???" out my car windows as we drove the local streets--the same windows they fell into as they were reloading the car, exclaiming "I've always wanted to do that!" I guess door handles take too much time. They mistook Martin Luther for Christopher Columbus, sprinted across giant parking lots, made friends with random people at McDonald's and Starbucks, selected Coldplay and OneRepublic and Bach from my iPod...pretty much totally made my night.

One of my favorite moments came when I was doing "donuts" in one parking lot, waiting for "Team Epic" to tell me where to go next. Complaining they were getting carsick, they finally told me where to go and we straightened out for our next destination--after I threw in one more roundabout for good measure. One boy teased me: "Aren't church people supposed to be nice and help other people, not make them carsick?" I joked back, "Sure, but you're forgetting something: middle school staff church people are also supposed to be crazy!" Another boy, suddenly got serious, musing to himself from the back seat, "Hmmm...maybe that's what I should do!" Youth pastor of the future? Only time will tell.

Oh yeah, and we won.

ElecTRONica

Roommate date night tonight at the happiest place on earth! Only it wasn't quite so happy this time around. Nearly an hour into our 70-minute wait for Space Mountain "Ghost Galaxy" (which we've never done and were excited to check out!) a cast member started making the rounds: "We are experiencing technical difficulties which you are welcome to stick around for, but it's going to be at least an hour. Also, the park is now closed..." Or something like that. Lame.

So off to DCA we went. Crazy busy there, but we managed to score some 11:15 World of Color tickets--at like 7:30. So with 3 hours to go before it was time to line up, we set off to occupy ourselves. Barely managed seats on the rollercoaster before it closed for the first WoC showing. Snagged some tortillas and bread after that. And just when we were about to give up hope and call it an early night, we stumbled past the Hollywood Backlot and saw strange things: flashing lights. Loud noises. Weird projections on all the building. And a big sign over it all proclaiming, "ElecTRONica." We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

Walking in a trance through the flashing lights with arcade-like whirs and beeps echoing off the crowded street, we entered deeper into this whole new world of TRON. Suddenly we were there. Dancing and drinking and a mad crush of young adults, all bobbing and moving to the electronic beat. Sure, this rave was Disney-sponsored and pretty G-rated, but still quite a different scene that I was used to seeing at D-land. Or at all in my life. On raised platforms at the 4 corners of the area were dancers in space-aged suits, doing the robot to a techno beat of "Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting." At the very back we ventured into Flynn's--an arcade resembling the one that I guess is from the movie. And taking over the MuppetVision theater was a special 3D sneak peek of "TRON: Legacy," which was, by far the coolest thing about the whole shebang.

When the roomie and I finally stumbled back out of the dark and noisy and crowded ElecTRONica, it was like we had truly emerged from the computer-generated world of TRON and could breathe fresh air again. And the real world was a welcome relief, as was the cool tram breeze blowing our techo-induced headaches away.

ElecTRONica. Been there, done that. And, it felt, slightly against my will.

Little buggers.

I haven't returned to my summer place of employment since...well, summer. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for the job I had and the people who contributed to me getting it. But it was a little crazy, for sure. Some days I loved the kids I worked with. Some days I never wanted to see them again. Some days I wanted to go home and cry (a few times I did). In any case, I've been thinking about making a return trip just to say hi to everyone, but have been putting it off/not having time. A persistent friend keeps reminding me, though, so today I took the plunge and returned...

I had barely set foot in the door when first one, then two, the half a dozen cute little ankle-biters were swarming me. "Can you stay?" "Will you not leave?" "Don't go away this time!" Those were the words I kept hearing as we hugged all around. I made my rounds to visit all the little familiar faces, totally disrupting homework time. Some kids jumped out of their seats; other smiled at me shyly from their chairs; one even saw me, shrieked, and ran back into his room! Too cute.

For all those times I ranted and raved and yelled and cried...there were also times when I laughed and played and smiled and hugged. And when it comes down to it, I guess those are the times we all remember best.

Drip drip drop...

10% chance of precipitation = no precipitation. Right? At least that's how it should have been today, that's how it normally goes. But I was very thankful I didn't don my shorts today when I headed off to work, because today turned into a gray and gloomy and very drizzly day at the back bay. Amazing how that heavy mist can get everything so wet so fast, but it did. I was soaked from head to toe, dried, resoaked, redried (except for my shoes and socks...those never recovered)... As it that wasn't enough, the day was also plagued by challenging coworkers and a group of punk kids. Oh yeah, and when the day was done and I was about to go home, I discovered that somewhere over the course of this highly frazzling day, I locked my keys in the car. Thankfully, AAA got there in record time and saved the day (and it wasn't horribly wet during the waiting). Yay AAA.

Oh yeah, and if all that wasn't enough, then we had to go hang up all the ponchos that 100+ kids wore for half a day and then unceremoniously dumped in the dirt. Not my favorite job, but I've got some great coworkers that made the cold and wet and everything a little bit more bearable. Thanks, friends.

Snap crackle BOOM.

Went to Disneyland again today...that makes twice this weekend! And now, thanks to some fabulous friends and family showering their love and birthday money on me, I have another whole year of magic to enjoy. :) Anyway...

The night started off with an interesting parking assignment; I had to ask directions to the tram, I was so turned around and thrown for a loop! Caught the same tram as my friends, magically, and we set off on a fun night at the parks. Rode a few rides, ate some good food, and called it a night shortly before the fireworks so we could avoid the crowds. Outwardly, leaving then made sense; I was pretty tired too. Inwardly, I sorta kinda really wanted to stay for the fireworks show I'd never seen before. But away we went, parting at the escalators as I continued on my merry way up one floor, across the garage, down the stairs, and through to the next lot and my car. Arrived at my car, just in time for the fireworks to begin.

Watching them in the park is awesome, for sure; the view is as it's meant to be, the music adds a whole another element, and even oooh and aaahing with hundreds of random strangers is fun. But from that back way overflow lot, many of the fireworks are only getting shot off a few hundred yards away. There's no music, so you hear every whistle, every whir, every crackle and BOOM as each volley of rockets shoots up nearly directly over your head. I felt each explosion deep in my core, I felt the car shudder underneath me from my perch on the trunk.

And then there's the other cars. They're surrounding you, and they're singing along. Not quite as beautifully as whoever they get for the "real" soundtrack, but definitely unique in their own special way as they belt out their discordant harmonies. Some cars seem to know that they're not in any real danger, and quit their chirping after only 30 seconds or so; other continue on like their lives depend on it. Each has its own unique voice, bursting to fill the night with their urban lullaby.

I didn't stay for the show inside tonight, but the one I experienced from the outside looking in was pretty darn special anyway. So thanks again, Disneyland.

Just thinking...

I've been systematically taking down my to-do list today. Cleaning up piles. Putting things away. Catching up on the old. Jumping into new tasks. Like church internship-type things. I've had a pile of papers that I've been moving from here to there, but barely making a much-needed scratch in when it comes to actually reading them. I think a part of it is, I'm out of practice; after all, I haven't been in school for the last few years, "homework" feels just a little bit foreign to me right now. I think another part of me is slightly afraid: what if, because I'm out of practice at all this ministry stuff, I don't have what it takes anymore? What if I never did in the first place? I've been a little bit haunted by these questions lately, as I see friends and what's going on in their lives and look at my own. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm truly happy with my life--I love what I do, I love the people I have around me, I'm excited to see what the future holds! But sometimes I wonder...am I missing something, could life hold something more than what I've settled for? And if it does, how do I get there?

I've got to stop comparing myself with the people around me, it never comes to anything good. After all, life doesn't follow a specific pattern for everyone, does it? And that's good, that's exciting. I'm excited to see what the future holds for me down the road, because I know that God's going to keep holding me through it all. In the meantime, I just need to keep being faithful. And flexing my slightly out-of-shape ministry muscles...

¹ O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, ^a]">[a] you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to ^b]">[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

[Psalm 139]

I need a throat lozenge.

After almost 2 weeks of anticipation, tonight I visited the happiest place on earth with a whole slew of camp friends. Some were Hume friends I know and love, most were new FoHo friends I'd never met before. Anyway, we rode a few rides, ran into lots of random people, ate some soft serve, and pretty much had a fantastic time. Apparently camp and camp people have the rare ability to draw me out of my shell in ways I never would have dreamed before: I was singing, dancing, yelling, and pretty much making a slightly obnoxious fool of myself with the 13+ other people I was with. In public. Something I never would have dreamed I'd ever do. I yelled and laughed until I nearly hyperventilated, until my throat felt raw. And it was amazing.

Just to give you a taste...

[the entire back row and all of the left side -the two chokers are us...fantastic]

I am very thankful for all the friends God has put into my life. I love you all!