Tonight I went for a run out in the neighborhood behind my apartment. Not the first time I've done this, for sure, although not one of my favorite things to do. For one thing, I hate running. For another, I hate running/working out in general in front of people. Tonight for an audience I had a 5-year-old boy across the street yelling at me, "Are you jogging?" "What's that? [to my iPod]" "Can I listen?" "I'm your coach!" Too cute. But the adventure came when I decided to leave my comfortable tract of houses and head out the other end onto the main streets, taking them the rest of the way home. In front of lots of cars and people. And I didn't die of embarrassment or get run over or whatever I'm afraid will happen. Point for me.
On another note, I was thinking about fear in general tonight, how it can completely irrationally keep us from doing completely rational things, from doing the right thing. Like jogging on a busy street. Like having that difficult conversation. Like admitting mistakes. But what do you do when that fear proves that it's not completely unfounded? When you get hit by a stray car? When that conversation blows up in your face? When mistakes admitted become sins unforgivable? How hard it is to ever want to do that thing again! How easy it is to just run, run run...
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